It’s such a great feeling that it can blind you to problems that might be hiding just below the surface. That’s where taking time for premarital counseling comes into play. Kim is a therapist who can help you and your future spouse talk through your future together.
Talk about your dreams: Is some aspect of your future non-negotiable? Have you always wanted to live in a houseboat with a cat, and if you don’t you’ll slip into a deep depression? How will that turn out when you find out your future spouse gets seasick and is allergic to cats? Yes, it’s an extreme example, but when people have dreams that are at odds with a partner’s, it’s better to talk about these possible problems sooner rather than later.
Interest in having kids: It’s almost assumed that, if you’re getting married, kids are in your future. It’s not a fair assumption made by society, but it’s there. So what if you’re spouse is assuming one thing and you’re assuming another? Have they said they’re not interested in having kids and you think they’ll come around? If there’s no chance they’ll change their mind, are you moving forward in a relationship with different goals?
Talk about your parents: Parent interaction can play a huge part in a burgeoning relationship. If your spouse is incredibly close to his or her parents (to the point of having them stop by every day), that issue will have to be address if you’d rather “go off on your own.” This can be an especially touchy subject if you’re interesting in moving across the country while your future spouse believes that sticking near “home” is the best thing.
Going through these situations beforehand can be a great way to fix the problems before they start. Call Kim at Back On Track today to schedule your first premarital counseling session.